Incomplete

Empty...thats how I feel. Aaron's Gone and what am I going to do? i can't really say that i will get over it cause well you never know with me, I guess nothing is really definite.

I change my mind a lot.I thought that i was never going to get over Esteban and though its kinda painful to say it...I am over him and I now realize that things between me and him wont happen. i was foolish to think so for almost a year. I know I will always LOVE Esteban with all my heart while time passes cause he was my first love...I will NEVER forget him and the beautiful memories he gave me.

These past few days Ive felt...nothing. Numb to all feelings possible. Why should i feel...I shouldnt, theres no need to when all I'll do is cry...or feel like shit.

I miss you!

Aaron,

you didnt call to say goodbye...youre an ass! so typical of you! But I guess when you called when i was fucked up...that was your goddbye...maybe I'm the ass...

New guy...well not that new

John,

You ass! hahahhaa youre so dumb!!!! Do you like me or do you not? I mean this past week youve told me that you only want a fuck buddy...and I told you that I just couldnt do that...Today you come to me with this bullshit about that youre pissed off about me going out with another guy.

make up your fuckin mind and then get back to me, ass!

More Confusion

John is mad because I'm talking to another guy...can you believe that shit? I mean he's the one that said that he wanted like a little fuck buddy, friendly friend, friend with benefits whatever! And I said I didnt want that...so yeah I thought that was the end of it. And when i told him that I was talking and seeing another guy he was pissed. So pissed he "hung up" on me! Bastard! he was like ansy and i was like whats wrong and he was like, "So are you talking, talking to this new guy?" and I was like, "well, yeah" hahahah. and then he was like, "Oh thats all I needed to know" and bam! he signed off. And I asked him today and he said that he was mad. And I know he was...hahahah I dont give a flip, but yeah actually i do. Damn it!!! he said that it wasnt fair...and i was like WTF? nah no tiene derecho de estar reclamando! i told him, "he actually calls and sees me, not IMs me" I think that got him even more mad cause he didnt reply and i just got the fuck offline. I want to be with John so bad, but he doesnt know what he wants and I'm not going to be waiting around for him to make up his mind and thats FINAL!