Esteban,
I can't believe I told you that I still liked you...lol I would have felt bad if i would have told you that i was REALLY in love with you. You probably would have freaked out on me. I was drunk...well that was back in january. You said that you werent the same guy. And you're right. I'm not the same girl either. You still see me as the same girl...but with a slight more alcohol in my system.
Oh...how much did I dream of this moment. When me and you both were single...ahhh but ur loving that single life obviously. I dont blame you for it. the girls after me weren't so great to you. I miss you so much and I wished that me and you were together again. I want to be able to feel you close to me. I dont know what the fuck I'm saying anymore.
It strikes me as odd that i cant just pick up my cell phone and dial you. After my trip...I couldnt, I would put off calling you to wish you a belated birthday. its like there isnt that level of comfort anymore. i feel awkward or rejected somehow. You call me...a minute later you let me go. Then why even call me? i dont understand. I was sooo glad when you called me last night...but once again the convo was a minute...literally. What the fuck! What is it that you want? Why do you call me? Ahhh!!!
I'm upset...you're making me feel like an idiot...
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