You Can't fix Stupid

Nobody wants me to go to Washington...and maybe I dunno, maybe I shouldnt go. I wanna see him dearly...lol Actually I wanna get laid lol nahhh I'm joking. I dunno...I felt REALLY bad last night. He called me when I was heading out to see German (the ex college sweetheart), so I didnt answer. I didnt come back to the dorm until almost 3am and He was already asleep.

So...yeah German texted me on Sunday morning and he said that he loved me and that he missed me. I dunno why he tells me shit like that. I was being a bitch to him again and he got really upset. I was like ohhh no! lol Me ti la pata! But I got to see him...we talked for a long time. It was really nice...Maybe I'm like getting over him breaking up with me. Or maybe not...no se.

Crazy Stuff...

So this past week has been kinda weird on me. The supposed college sweetheart broke up with me on Sunday...but a few hours later I got back with Aaron. I'm still hurt about the college sweetheart to be honest with you. I mean I thought that things would work out wonderfully...but he was just a college player...like most guys are, he was just interested in sex. Maybe things wouldnt be so bad with me emotionally if we hadnt done anything. Don't get me wrong...I didnt fuck him, but still. What bothers me more is that he's been hanging out a lot with my room mate...and he tells me purposely as if to make me jealous...and its working. I hate it! It makes me feel like I'm not good enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not thin enough. Maybe...if I EVER get thin, he'll know what he missed out on. lol I dont know...I'm just trying to make myself feel better.

That day...I was determined to go see Aaron at any cost. I miss Aaron...I miss him more than anything...Aaron is my safe haven...my rock...my strength. Seeing Aaron is going to cost me big bucks...300 for plane ticket...and extra stuff. hotel, transportation, food. well Maybe not food (talk about that later). I told mom...yeah I know that was kinda stupid on my count. But I wanted to get a discount at the marriot dammit!!! lol...and I would feel guilty...a bit. And then they would ask where i spent all my money on and what not. I'm just really stressed out and I wanna see my babe...the love of my life.

So about food...for some reason...well i probably know why, but anyway. I havent been eating right this week. For example, today's dinner and only meal consisted of a 100 calorie pack and my pills, with water of course. I'm not hungry...I dont want food. Yesterday I ate more...i had some strawberries and the calorie pack. And I've been going to the gym...90 minutes, burning about 800 calories. and adding abs class to it. Maybe...its cause of the whole break up thing. That i'm not thin enough for society's "pretty." I dunno...I'm just not hungry. Maybe when I go back home I'll be back to normal. Since everybody just seems to eat over there.

College Sweetheart?

So...after a good weekend at ATX...I had to end it with a loud bang...the ones that shoot you against your heart. I thought things were going wonderfully with Aaron...better than great you know? But he broke up with me on Sunday morning (like 3 or 4). I felt like I couldnt say anything cause I was with Leo, Mayra n Shani...it would have been weird. I dunno. I only enjoy crying by myself. Not that I enjoy crying but you get what I'm saying.

Sunday I continued talking to this guy I met. He lives a couple of buildings down...and I guess I just jumped right into this one too. We're together. Hey! at least I'm not cheating on anyone! He's awesome I like him a lot...We have this huge chemistry...we just click I guess...Ms. Johnson might be right...you meet your mate in college lol I'm being exaggerated. I'll write about him later...

I'm kinda worried about driving back home this weekend...well today I should say. I put my shit in the car this morning...and I drove around to the guy's dorm...it made a NASTY sound. The engine light turned on and the D keeps on blinkin...I'm gonna die out there! lol. After about 10 minutes of it being on the engine light turned off...it sounded a lil better, but the engine lite kept on blinking. Stupid shit lol. I just need a new car I'm afraid.

I could have been in music class today, but for some reason i just wanted to stay here and be awake lol. I could have easily taken a nap...but I didnt. I feel sorta indifferent this morning. I have so much planned for this weekend...i cant miss a thing for real. Plus I need to study for my music make up test...great!

1 is the loneliest number

Yesterday I broke up with Jay..for good, for good this time. I feel accomplished lol...thats mean huh? But Man...Jay was going psycho on my ass and that was a little scary. Everybody was telling me that he was a little leach that was going to end up sucking the life outta me. Stressing me out when he wasnt worth a cent. I guess I succeeded since...he didnt call or text me today. I hope to keep it that way.

I havent had a good conversation with Aaron in days...and its really bugging me. I hate it...cause I cant have a good nite's sleep that way. Its so weird...ever since we've cut down on our talking time...I cant sleep well...I got to bed and then dont fall asleep until like 2-3 hours later. I hate it!!!
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Tomorrow's plans go as follows:
7 turn over in bed
710 get out of bed
745 go to class
8 Music class begins
930 POL class begins
11 Lit Class starts
1215...head back to dorm
1230 Drive to Aunt's house
1 have lunch...
430 head back over to my dorm
5 have vday dinner at Wendy's lol (its a joke!)
7 study it up with Andee for our History test...yay...

Not much excitement. I'm SOOOO not prepared for this test. I'm detesting the reading and I keep on putting off. The lecture I know it like 85%. lol great number huh?