Cause the fun things always happen to me

Last night, I went over to Vanessa's house and hung out with her, Candice and Alyssa. That little beauty in the picture. We watched this special on comedy central...I think the guy was called Jo Koy? lol he was freaking funny...THING THING!! hahaha Then he was followed by a white guy who was very random and not very funny. It was hard for any of us to catch up. Different kind of humor I guess. I got informed that Candice is preggo! Babies are always cool.

It was like 1130. So, we dropped off Candice. On the way back to Vanessa's house, we talked - Vanessa and I, about my situation with a certain person. I was really fired up in the morning, and she was the first one I spoke to about it. She said to me, "You know, you can look at it in two ways. One is that he's an asshole who just wanted one thing. On the other hand, he's just too hurt by what you did that he's just not over it." I was like, "Yeah, you can say that"

"But...but! Ever since this morning, I've been leaning more towards the first theory. I never thought about it because you said that y'all had such a strong bond."

"Exactly! I didn't even cross my mind to think that way. It was ingrained in my head that he was this one person because he's always just been one type of person with me, never the asshole. He was always there for me. We even exchanged 'I love you's. He was my best friend, my birthday buddy."

Meh...we continued the conversation, exchanged more ideas. By the end of that conversation, I was more disgusted with him...that I could have ever possibly imagined. That's probably for the best. 80% of the love...that honest love has left me. I've never told a friend that I loved him or her...unless drunk. I've def haven't said it on a daily basis or even talked about...compared it to other things (i.e. I love you more than I love Bill Clinton). So, that was a big deal to me.

The sweet memories are fading so fast. I can breathe easy. I hate to say it...but feelings of resentment and revulsion towards him are flooding me over and under. Its sad that I thought the friendship meant A LOT, and in the end...it was all bull shit.

Moving on...

I had gotten some bloodwork done like in November. The results came in - elevated white blood count, and elevated liver enzymes. In the paperwork she mailed, the liver enzymes were called ASPT or something like that...I lost the paper. Well I didn't think to look up what they meant until like a couple of days before my follow-up. I got scareeeddd when I found out the causes. lol. So, I went back to the doc and she sat me down, and said, "I'm going to talk to you about two things. The first thing is that your blood count is high in all levels, but looking at your past history, your red blood cell count had been elevated before. That's not whats bothering me. The white blood count is high which means that your body is trying to fight off something. That something - I dont know. It could have been a cold." "No, I wasnt sick. I havent been sick all season" She then continued on, "Or it could have been an error, who knows? We will have to retest you. Now, the next thing has really concerned me. Your liver enzymes are more than twice than of a healthy liver. Certain drug use might cause it, or Hepititis. Have you traveled outside of the country in the past year? Have you been sharing needles with anyone? Have you been with anybody with it?" All of my answers to that were NO.

So, she asked me if I had a problem taking another blood test, and of course that was a NO...take all the blood you want, if it means that nothing's seriously wrong with me! Shit...she sure did take a lot, and my arm hurt for like two weeks. lol. Today is Monday...or was Monday and its 7 am...tuesday. Blah point is my doctor called me on Monday. She told me that the verdict was still the same. Now I have to visit a gastroenterologist. Ugh...I have to wait until Thursday to see him. I am going insane because I dont know whats going on!

Now that I know where the liver is , I'm like...yeah, I always get weird sharp pains on my right side...and recently that side has looked like...swollen or bloated in comparison to the other side of my stomach. I thought that I had pains because I had eaten something bad...or something. I really paid no mind it. I mean I wasnt bed-ridden or whatever...ugh.

Trapped within 4 walls

I woke up pretty late today...exactly why I am up at nearly 6 am. Meh...I woke up at 12 pm. Jon texted me...and of course he was out golfing. He said something weird...and I've been thinking about it all day. lol like trying to decipher some kind of biblical language. hahaha. Maybe I am just reading too much into it...but he did not say that he was kidding. whatever.

I walked out of my room, and my bro rushed over...to let me know that some of dad's friends were coming over. He then says, "I'm just letting you know so that you wont be in your underwear or something" and I was like, "Cause...I usually prance around in my underwear, and I am NOT wearing shorts right now..." He was running all throughout the house "cleaning." lol My dad probably yelled at him to get him to do it. I was like whatever, I'll just stay in my room. Well...bad IDEA! They were here from 1 to nearly 7 pm. I swear I nearly pissed my pants.

It was Alex, my dad's best friend, and his dad and somebody else with a really ANNOYING voice. I already knew that that dude Alex was loaded, but apparently so is his father in El Salvador. Blah...I think my dad was pissed that I stayed in my room all day cause he gave me a slight stank eye. I wasn't going to "tend" to these dudes just cause they're "important." The kitchen wasn't even clean. All my liquor was in the car...so all he had was that Jimador bottle...half empty. (I really don't understand the sudden obsession with this 'Jimador')

My mom arrived from school and she had told us the day before that we were going to visit my "boyfriend" hahaha. I can't believe the bf part stuck ever since Thanksgiving...I mean everybody knows he's not my bf. lol. its funny. Anyway, my "boyfriend" is a specific barista at Starbucks named Cesar who ALWAYS remembers me...when I've only graced his presence like 4 times in a span of 6 months. He always seems so happy to see me...he could brighten any girl's day, and he's such a cutie too haha.

Anyway, so, my bro and I drove to S'bucks in my dad's truck. I was actually looking forward to seeing him haha, but when I arrived at the speaker thingie, a chic answered. damn! I was a little sad. I started ordering...and she informed me that there were no cream based fraps. Double damn! Then I said, "For real...are you serious?!?" and I heard his deep ass voice. yay! I just ordered whatever to get to the window. lol. He kept on peaking over at me...which made him take like twice as long to make the fraps. Then he inched his way to the drive thru register...lol it was so cute...cause he was being so obvious. I was talking with my bro and I could see him through my peripheral. He slowly backed away from the register backwards...and I finally turned to look at him. He flashed me that smile of his and he gave me the funniest wave ever. My brother was like, "Your boyyyyyfriend is excited to see you" I elbowed him...lol I was scared that he would hear him...

I quickly regretted the Java Chip purchase...but we were already home. Vanessa txted me and she tried to convince me to like...take the S'bucks guy thing further...lol. I can't! I'm not forward like that. I mean we talk for like 10 minutes through the drive thru with like 6 cars behind me, but thats just friendly talk...not anything else. Besides, I don't know much about him...and beginning something with a week left here seems pointless. Ahhh! He's so cool though. Meh...a guy like him prob has a gf anyway. A crush can fade away.

Later I got bored and tried http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42brYe2bu3M lol but...mine looks too harsh. my eye hurts...so I will try again later.

Flo Rida - In The Ayer

Long Time

So I havent really posted anything on here for a while...maybe cause Ive been busy or Ive been lazy and well I forgot my password. gayness I know. Anyway...I got a job...working at the Y and tomorrow (or should I say today) is my first day. I'm scared and I really SHOULD be asleep. ahhh I'm not sure if I will be able to control my profanity around the kiddoes.

Aaron is still in Germany and is returning on July 13th...thats REALLY scary. I want to see him, there's no doubt about that, but shit. IDK lol. I HAVE to see him, but in a way i don't want to. OH goodness I have to, right? He keeps on saying, "we're getting married, right" Me? Married this summer? Idk about that. But He's been saying that since 2005. But after his leave...he's going to Iraq. I'm really worried. I just don't want him to get married for the wrong reasons, y'know? Hes really been slacking on the calling...like REALLY slacking. To the point that I actually thought we had broken up, and I started going out with this other guy. But thats over and done with...

Fucking Aaron...

What a crappy week

I've failed...3 tests this week. It has to be fuckin joke! How could...?!? How?!?! I'm upset! its just fucking amazing. And...Aaron isnt even around to make me feel better.

I have NO money...my grades are CRAP! My fiance...is like hella mad at me, and not even on base. like something on my neck hurts to I can't turn to the left...I'm ANGRY and I'm upset...I probably won't be able to leave tomorrow...gahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!