Sometimes i think that I like to procrastinate just cause. I'm really tired...I want to go to sleep...and say fuck you final! lol but no, I cant. I need to pass, but I have made no attempt to REALLY study. I need an A on this final to get a B in the class...blah! I hate this MFing class and the stupid final should have been earlier so I could just get the fuck outta here already! I need to pick up some coffee before I leave cause I'm going to be so sleepy by 11. I think I should stop by my grandma's first, since I heard she wasn't able to walk earlier this week. That worries me...I mean, shes a healthy woman, but she's getting close to 60. She better make it to see me and Aaron's kids. She will, she will.
I was thinking a LOT about Aaron. I know that I want to be with him...I love him, but I don't want to leave my family. I dont want to stop going to school. I want to get married...that would be so great. I want to have a family, but thats a problem. First, i won't be able to finish school, or if I do, i would have to go back home. Then, Aaron will be in Germany and he wont be able to see our kid grow up or help me in those long nights. At this point, i know that i can't be without Aaron. Its like we've been together for this whole time and we've been too strong for too long, and we CAN'T be without eachother.
This has been my longest relationship 1 year and 3 months...wow. I'm surprised. It feels way longer. I mean of course it isnt like a 5 year relationship or whatever, but i know that I LOVE him. I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH! I can't let a whole ocean to be between us! I dont know what I'm going to do. I have to talk to him about it.
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