Blue Green

I want to make a video explaining life...lol how my life is great, but on the other hand it sucks.

I started school and I am actually attending. GASP!
I have a job that pays me more than my last one.
I can actually pay bills on time and have money to spend.
I've gotten back on track and have lost 4 lb in 4 days :D

I haven't gone to sleep. the past 3 days. IDK what keeps me going.
I hate school. For once I would like a challenge.
I haven't spoken to him in 23 days.

I was really tempted to not show up to school on Thursday. My second class was cancelled and since I hadn't gone to sleep I figured I would just pretend to go to class, but go back to slee as soon as my mother left. She didn't leave early like she was supposed to - So I just got ready and went to class. I actually enjoyed my first class. After that one I wanted to eat my lunch because I was starving but I brought no fork. An older man sat in front of me and he irked me. He smoked...and I thought it was REALLY rude. I walked to the Main building and went up to the library. I printed out all the slides that I needed for my first class, and the case file for my cancelled class. I headed over to my math class and realized that yes, that hoe is pointless. I made an A in an upper division math course. The room is full of losers and dumbasses. The math is 8th grade level at best. I grow ever so bored. The only thing interesting in the class is listening to this obnoxiously loud gay diva handicapped dude while he makes phone calls right before class about the stupidest things, and how he broke up with people and his binge drinking. Oh and Prof DeKorvin is French so it sounds interesting.

I went on an interview today...kinda sorta knowing that I was going to get the job. I did get the job and I am excited and scared all in the same. I really dont want to dissapoint anyone. These kids are different from other kids. The things they will learn are important simple life skills that they have to work 100 times harder than a regular kid. If he or she doesn't learn these skills - it will be on me. I'm kind of upset that I am getting paid 10...last summer she said she would pay me 12. All in all I dont care anymore really. If I would obsess I would be very selfish and idk...I am a selfish person and very materialistic, but idk. I'm just glad that I will be able to pay my own bills on time and not wait around to take my parents' money.

I got back on my diet Tuesday. I've lost 4lb already and I am proud of myself. This diet is simple. I need to stay on track, and not try to come off of it with temptations and such. Well, I already failed a little. On Tuesday, I was so ready to go to bed when Vanessa called me crying. We ended up having Margaritas and fried stuff. I would have lost 5? that would have been awesome.

Its been 23 days since i have spoken to him and I am going strong. I was watching 500 days of summer...lol No labels. Not having a label always sucks...for people like me. Sure, a label will NOT guarantee anything but its safer, right? I don't think I want to talk to him, but I am so weak that I would probably do it if the opportunity came about. i feel dissapointed like, "Oh wow, we could have been something great, but you had to go and mess it up for me"

Maybe I concentrated too much on the good parts that I didn't really concentrate on the bad. He always called me late at night...wtf was he doing before. When he called we would talk about nothing for about 15 min. He knew more about me than I knew about him. He stopped being sweet. He wasn't too sweet to begin with.

I really need to work on myself to attract a better pool of dudes.