I had terrible sleep last night. I just couldn't fall asleep with that ridiculous head gear on. how could it ever be accurate if its so uncomfortable?!?!
I watch a lot of YouTube videos...that goes without saying! A lot of beauty videos in particular with a splash of Shane Dawson and Philip DeFranco, and the occasional WhatTheBuck. Anyway, there is this tag going around in the beauty community called the "Husband/Boyfriend tag." The chic usually asks her dude random questions about their relationship and about herself to see how much she knows about her. Blah Blah I recently subscribed to this chic that I do not remember her YT name...anyway, her husband had a strong resemblance to Juan...just like a thinner version. And then last week in San Antonio, I saw a waiter from far away that reminded me of him as well. I freaked so bad. When he finally came up close his name tag read David and he was pretty short. So, I felt pretty embarrassed. Even though I didn't raise any alarms to Shani or Sunita, but I think HE noticed.
Today, I watched the Fountain, and as I have mentioned before the Fountain CD was the one that played over and over when we broke up. I seriously think somebody took it and threw it away because I cannot find it anywhere. And of course, when i see the fountain I only see two scenes, and I'm done with it. I have seriously watched those two scenes a million times. However, I've only seen the whole movie twice.
So to wrap this up, I felt weird today. Sad? Yes. Crying? Not Really. I know that I will never escape the memory of him. That's just a fact. He's in my veins, and I will never be able to drain him out. I don't like thinking about him because then I make up stories in my mind as to what we would be like right now. Obviously, I paint all stories with him as the best stories ever. We would be the cookie cutter couple that loves each other, and it shows while making everybody else puke from the jealousy.
In the video I saw (partially! cause I'm not that emotionally involved with this YTer yet) that they looked into each other's eyes...all googley like (insert jealous gag here) and kissed. I wondered if anybody in my future will give me that kind of loving gaze. Some people take that for granted...I know I did.
Maybe I will learn to appreciate my next mate...who knows really. Cheers to being single for a year and 4 months? Ugh, whatever.
I watch a lot of YouTube videos...that goes without saying! A lot of beauty videos in particular with a splash of Shane Dawson and Philip DeFranco, and the occasional WhatTheBuck. Anyway, there is this tag going around in the beauty community called the "Husband/Boyfriend tag." The chic usually asks her dude random questions about their relationship and about herself to see how much she knows about her. Blah Blah I recently subscribed to this chic that I do not remember her YT name...anyway, her husband had a strong resemblance to Juan...just like a thinner version. And then last week in San Antonio, I saw a waiter from far away that reminded me of him as well. I freaked so bad. When he finally came up close his name tag read David and he was pretty short. So, I felt pretty embarrassed. Even though I didn't raise any alarms to Shani or Sunita, but I think HE noticed.
Today, I watched the Fountain, and as I have mentioned before the Fountain CD was the one that played over and over when we broke up. I seriously think somebody took it and threw it away because I cannot find it anywhere. And of course, when i see the fountain I only see two scenes, and I'm done with it. I have seriously watched those two scenes a million times. However, I've only seen the whole movie twice.
So to wrap this up, I felt weird today. Sad? Yes. Crying? Not Really. I know that I will never escape the memory of him. That's just a fact. He's in my veins, and I will never be able to drain him out. I don't like thinking about him because then I make up stories in my mind as to what we would be like right now. Obviously, I paint all stories with him as the best stories ever. We would be the cookie cutter couple that loves each other, and it shows while making everybody else puke from the jealousy.
In the video I saw (partially! cause I'm not that emotionally involved with this YTer yet) that they looked into each other's eyes...all googley like (insert jealous gag here) and kissed. I wondered if anybody in my future will give me that kind of loving gaze. Some people take that for granted...I know I did.
Maybe I will learn to appreciate my next mate...who knows really. Cheers to being single for a year and 4 months? Ugh, whatever.
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