Dreams Dreams

I was watching a show about X-topic and I was just blah.

My life is just shit and I have done nothing to fix it. I am too lazy and too hung up on the past to move past it. I want everything to fall on my lap like if it were my god give right to be somebody special. I have become so unmotivated so mundane so unlike myself. I don't know who I am anymore. I am pissing my life away like if I really had that option. My life is not what I figured it would be. The smart girl who wanted to be somebody has left the building like 2 years ago, and she hasn't come back since.

I could have graduated this past semester. I was doing great before the time that I left my dreams. I has a 3.25 GPA and now what its it? haha I don't even want to divulge the ridiculous insignificant GPA that I now have. How embarrassing.

I wanted to be a writer once upon a time and write stupid stories of heartbreak or even a story about aliens and how it would be to meet them describing them so stereotypically with silver colored skin. My vocabulary hasnt expanded much from middle school, and to be honest, that was probably the peak of my writing "career." I couldn't even write a history research paper to save my life.

I went after this business career because I thought that it would rain 100 dollar bills over my head. I thought would be set for life, and I would pay back my parents for everything I ever spent and every little bullshit smart aleck answer I ever gave them. I imagined being married to my engineer, or doctor husband and we'd have 4 kids and a dog. What a fucking joke.

I don't even want to imagine what kind of life the future has in store for me because I know its no good.

Yes, I'm a pessimist, but I'm also a realist.

Follow your fucking bliss, assholes.