My Purple hair

I dyed my hair purple a couple of months ago...

Three years ago, I told him I was gonna dye my hair purple, and he started to suggest other colors to ago along with it. And I said, "I'll add pink just for you" He responded, "I feel special that a girl is gonna look like a skittle for me"

I laughed so hard.

I keep on reading...and we talked about wearing a man thong that he washed his car in with sponges attached to it.

I laughed even harder.

IDK man...he's so irreplaceable that I cannot fathom the idea that there could be somebody better. Nobody has made me laugh harder, care about him more, more comfortable to be MYSELF, and not try to impress him.

I want to open up my heart to somebody new because I know that we're not going to be together again, but I find it so difficult. Then again, lately I've found it difficult to live a lonely life as well. I don't speak to anybody other than the people at work, my bro and my mom. Esteban is having his own struggles to deal with...which are much bigger than mine.

Its really difficult for me to admit it, but I think I'm depressed. I know I always say that I'm upset about the Juan situation, but that's just a part of me. For the most part, I'm pretty mellowed out. I'm not the most chipper person on the planet, but I don't go around moping around, or crying constantly. I have a "whatever" kind of attitude. Lately, I've been feeling like I've been crushed down to the ground, and that I'm being ignored - that nobody cares about me or what I have to say.

I'm just going crazy with my own thoughts.