The day before I confessed my love to Esteban...Aaron told me that he had doubts, that maybe I wasnt the one, that we were rushing into marriage. I got upset and told him that if he needed space I would give it to him, but then he reassured me that he will always have doubts but that a girl like me, he wouldnt find twice. Which is true...I've put up with a lot of his shit. I was willing to go to Germany with him...I was willing to put MY LIFE on hold for his.
We broke up AGAIN on the 8th. Maybe its for the better, maybe its not. I'm handling it quite well actually. Maybe its cause he always does the same shit, but ends up coming back to me in a couple of weeks. He accused me of not knowing him through and through, "like a true girlfriend is supposed to by now" So he said. Its true...I dont know him that way he knows me. But that's because when I talk...I actually share stuff about myself...not like him with his secrets and hidden past.
Esteban promised to call me on his birthday to make up for last year, but yet again he let me down. Maybe its time for me to let go of him too. Its so hard to let go of the one person who made me completly forget about JC. My days with Esteban were wonderful...but I need to let go of everybody and just start all over. Starting over is so difficult...when you had so much and now youre left empty handed. When i invested a year and 4 months into somebody...so much.
I jumped on the ball rather quickly though. His name is Jay R...well his name is Johnny, but he's a Junior...lol get it? He's a sweet heart...but uhhh he'll be a come and go guy...not a here to stay. I dunno...we'll see I guess.
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