As everyone and their momma know, I am stuck on Juan. I go through the dumbest thoughts in my head everyday. I try to stalk him somehow...when I really can't...and probably never will. I never had the guts to pass by his house after it all happened. I would purposely try to avoid that exit at all costs.
I was speaking to Esteban about it, and he said, "I feel like you thought he was so perfect, and for once you were the one that fucked it all up. And that is why you are always beating yourself about it. Thats why you cant get over it. He probably wasnt as perfect as you made him seem"
He also made a valid point, "Whenever Matthew lied to you about something that small you didnt wanna speak to him again. Why was that? because you didn't love him. Maybe Juan didn't love you either" I never really think about that before and now that he brought it up its like a dagger to the heart. It didnt even cross my mind. Now thats all thats on my mind.
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