Haha so this past weekend was my birthday! Double Deuce, it was. We went down to 6th st. in ATX and got super trashed! We set out to drink 11+ shooters plus drinks. 11 because we were celebrating Amanda and I's 22. It was super fun! But I had wished that other people would have been able to join me...
A couple of days before, my twin, Vanessa made dinner for me. It was soooo sweet of her :) Thats why she's my twin and I love her!!! It was delish! Aww...I miss her already...she always knows what I'm thinking.
This week was my first week of class. It was sort of a YAY moment and a not-so yay. First non-yay reason was that all my birthday money went to books. Ugh...I wanted to buy some more pourers, or some more bottles, or MAC makeup, or cooking/baking supplies...whatever. Nope, books. Second non-yay is that two of my classes seem really hard...I'm scared! Third non-yay is that I managed to get kicked out of the college of business and I missed it by .08...WTF? UGHHHH I hate my management prof what a whore. I SOOO could have gotten an A. I have a class with Sammy which is cool and then I have another class with Lydia...so I don't feel all retarded non knowing anybody.
Work...is same ole' same ole'. Very much under-appreciated...and very bored. Today, my director came to our site saying, "You're so popular, people have been requesting you...blah blah" and then I responded, "Yeah, Kim wants me to go to her site." Then she goes, "Ohhh no no no. That's not going to happen. You're much too valuable." HA! Last year, she said I was shitty. Now, she's claiming I'm too valuable...boo! My favorite main boss got laid off...I'm so sad...well not that sad, but sad enough. Like why couldn't they let go of a certain someone else...ugh. The kids missed me...I was pleased. lol. One of my girls ran to me to hug me and she smashed her face on my liver area...ohhh sweet baby jesus that hurt. lol.
I can't sleep on that side...which sucks...I haven't been like...majorly been looking for a doctor here in town. Maybe I don't wanna know whats wrong with me. Maybe...the thought of not drinking alcohol annoys me. Meh...idk. The thought of something horrible happening to me is just not gonna work out for me right now.
Just last week I came to a REFRESHING realization. I don't even remember what day it was. I just came to a sudden thought. It was THERE plain as day, and it felt GOOD. I mean there are no words to describe how relieved I felt, how much emotional baggage had been left behind, just like that! At the beginning of last week, I had gotten really upset about something...like I had mentioned in the previous blog. Disgust, anger, a whole flood of ugly emotions filled me. I thank those emotions haha...I don't really care anymore. I am so nonchalant...like la di fucking da. It feels good to not care. These past two months, I felt a void. No, not a significant other void, but definitely a best friend void. It was odd. I had never experienced that, ever. As things started unfolding for me, I eventually lost interest in that cause that I felt so strongly about. I could only hold out for so long. What was weird though...was that it wasn't like an escalating loss of interest...it was sudden. Like a bolt of lightning...pas!
I'm back to the cold hearted Cindy, and I like it! Took a year, but I'm there again.
and no, I'm not saying that I won't feel anything for anybody...Things just aren't really going to affect me, not going to faze me, if you will.
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