Changes

I always thought that I was open for changes in my life, or in anything in general, but like most people, I find changes to be both aggravating and scary.

Was that a long run-on? probably.

I always thought that I had a close knit of friends, and now all I have is a loose scatter of acquaintances. My best friends have turned to people I see on occasion. I was thinking about sushi this whole week. I REALLY wanted some.

Then I started wondering..."who should I invite with me?"
Shani? No...she will probably give me - I'm on a diet. I don't have gas. I don't have money.
Mayra? No...she always falls through with her plans, and seems to be more snobby than ever.
Mario? No...I haven't seen him since last year in November
Vanessa? Uh...thats just complicated, and she has two jobs, and a bf
Joseph? No...
Gaby? nope too broke
Iveth? Nah...probably spending her last days with her bf until his month tour

actually Joseph is the closest thing to a best friend that I've had recently. He was the only one interested in my India trip, and also lent me his train case because I didn't have the darker range of foundations. Oh and also Luisa because we're basically on the same boat. Returning to Houston hasn't actually been too kind. We had this like 2 hour conversation over how people have changed since high school, and everybody does their own thing now.


Maybe I'm not friendly enough. Maybe I'm not approachable. Maybe I just dont let much of my personality out among strangers. Maybe I just like sulking in my own misery to make shit happen.

Either way I am still alone, and it sucks. I want to have a awesome time in my 20s and it doesnt seem like I am.