Yup, that's exactly what I am. I am making up juan feelings in my head...reading too much into his actions in relation to me. I need to STOP!!!! Its not healthy. I cannot keep talking about it and later crying about it. I'm not going to tell him how I feel...ever. I'm too much of a chicken. I'm dead scared of juan rejecting me...I would die no joke. I've been lucky enough that he still speaks to me, I shouldn't push my luck.
I wish I did have the courage to say something. I wish I was strong enough to survive HIS rejection. I'm not. The rejection would definitely put me in a place worse than last yr. Hahaha then, I'll be involved in another empty lifeless relationship. That would be selfish of me...no one can make me as happy...and if I'm not that kind of happy, it wouldn't be fair.
I've spent my last hour crying. The 25 most played on my ipod are all Juan tracks. Music that I listened to when we broke up. I hadn't noticed until now that I played the playlist on its own. Gosh...I don't want it to happen again.
I say NO TO ZOMBIE CINDY!!!
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