Same Wave Length

I should be asleep because...its 330 in the morning and I barely slept much last night, or morning I should say. I studied my ass off for the Statistics exam. There were 16 questions. I think for sure I had 13 right. I finished within a half an hour. I gave Prof. K a smug smile. He looked at me surprised and said, "have a good Spring Break Cindy" Idk...bringing myself up from a 44? Pshh...I know I can do it!!! If I put half of that effort into my other classes...ugh. I hate school so much.

I wanna be out in the world. I wanna do what I'm supposed to do...work. Be part of that adulthood. I mean, I so shy away from it because its tremendously scary...No parents to fall back on.

I was talking to my mom today before I started packing. She says my little brother has taken a huge interest in girls. He actually pays attention to his outer appearance, finally! I guess thats when it kicks in, unless youre part of that weird crowd. haha. The crowd of kids that nobody talks to...Anyway, my dad had deposited my refund check earlier this week...Mom said that he felt proud of himself for doing it. I like how he always gets this satisfaction of helping me...idk do all fathers feel that way? She said that he wanted to come visit me this past Sunday...that would have been nice. He hates San Antonio. So, I know that it would have been a big deal to him to even mention it. She said, "He REALLY misses you when you don't have that monthly visit, but you know how he is. He never shares those emotions with anyone. I told him that you were coming back this week. thats why he decided not to go" Meh...I like him visiting though. Idk...These past 2 years I've grown ever so close to my dad. I see myself in him...He may not be the best spouse, but he's been a good dad.

Haha...he's even ventured out to places with us that he would never go to just to spend time with me. Like the Madeleine...lol he liked it though. i would have assumed that that place was too girly for him...somehow. haha. He said that he enjoyed how "light" the food was. I should have known since he devoured that ceasar salad.

I'm looking forward to Saturday. Yay!!!! I get to see my twin and Ana S...Not H. lol. Its so weird. In high school it was blah blah blah Ana...which Ana? Ana H or Ana R? Now Ana H is married so she's Ana S for Scott. I still think its weird that she's married, but thats what I said when Vanessa found out she was pregnant with Alyssa. I haven't been to Kona since August...I should have some...kick ass sushi or something.

I have to see my gma the same day...or she'll be upset. I've been hearing that she's been especially, delicate. Not physically but emotionally. I think she feels like she's been abandoned somehow...like She's an old person that is not wanted but still fully capable of taking care of herself...like a step away from Nursing Home, you know? I mean IDK...If I were in Houston I would visit her often. It annoys the hell out of me that people right down the street can't just go over and help her for a little while or just keep her company. being by yourself alone, with your own thoughts can't be THAT healthy after a while. That's when you start to overanalyze and feel shitty about yourself. haha.

I'll probably spend a lot of time with Vanessa. Idk. I have the weird desire to be around her...because I feel like she's the only one that understands me, understands my pain. We think on the same wave-length...haha And sometimes we know what we are both thinking eventhough we haven't said a word. Blah. I feel a bit guilty that I don't spend enough time with Mario. I wish we lived closer. We haven't really spoken much since Ive left but thats a given. We're always like that. I will promise myself to at least spend 3 days with him. Not 3 FULL days lol. I wanna see so many people and I feel like theres not enough time. I added another date to the next week with heather. I haven't seen her in a year I think. And then I have to see Chick'n I haven't seen him in a year either. I want to see other people too. I wanna see everyone!!!

I have to buy more Lush stuff. I've made up my mind. My skin is DRAMATICALLY softer. I wanna make love to my skin! hahaha. I was tempted the buy the MAC moisturelush ($40...gasp!)or even the strobe cream...but I think I will give a Lush moisturizer a try first. I also wanna try the shampoo and conditioners. and the hair dye! and! and! idk everything else. A bath bomb, maybe?

I finished the Twilight series...and it left me wanting more. Ugh, bella...no. She annoyed me after I kind of sided of Jacob...So, I would want to see a book by Jake talking about him and Renesme's relationship. I don't know what audiobook will fill my nights now. :( I'm sad. I guess I'll just get another Orson Scott Card book...ouuuu Empire! yes! That will be my next one!

Blah now I'm just jabbering...off to bed.