Thursday, August 18, 2005

Slow Reaction

Last night I wrote:

Sometimes I feel as if I am at the end of a dark tunnel running towards the light but never getting there…maybe I'm not really running, I'm power walking haha. Right now I don’t know how to react towards anything…I talked to John and he apoligized once again…he tried to act as if he's a GREAT friend. If you ask me I think he's faking it. I don’t give a fuck though it doesn’t faze me one bit anymore. He asked me are you still going to talk to me when you leave? And I'm like we'll see…and then he was all like, "knowing you…It was nice knowing you my number is…and my sn is…blah" and I'm like youre stupid…in my head though and I tell him, "my laptop screen is fucked up" and thgen he acts happy again and says, "I guess I will have to be calling you up while youre gone. If you don't mind that is" and I was like, "I would mind if you call me just because I got mad at you the other day. I'm not about to be your fuckin' pity case alright?" then he was like I'll talk to you later I'm gonna go play basketball.

Ugh whot-eva! I have a shit load of things to do and to buy before I go but I havent done it and I cant do it after cause I don’t have a car so…yeah. I'm supposed to go out with Vanessa and Ana tomorrow, going to the movies and junk. Maybe I will take my bro since he wants to see 4 Brothers too. I will have to see whats up. I want to buy some shoes before I go, but is it really imperative that I buy clothes at this moment? I mean it is college…who gives a damn what I look like…I'm going to show up in my pajamas fuck it…Its not as if I'd get prettier by the clothes that I'm wearing…same old eww me.

I'm still hoping that Aaron will call, and that Esteban will call…ugh I'm just a hopeless romantic. I need to snap out of it really…Can’t I ONCE for one entry can I write about me being happy? I guess I never really record the times when I'm happy, but the times that I'm sad.

Ana n Yoly called me and the phone was on silent so I didn’t answer. Hahaha Yoly was all like, "I'm Eduardo, youre a hot mama, I just want to eat you up" hahahaha it made me laugh theyre so retarded lol. They were inviting me to hang out before I leave…sucks that I cant go with them…probably the next time I will see them is on Thanksgiving, or Christmas break. We will have to see how it goes.

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