Ding! Epiphany

I was on the road and I was thinking about my actions and why I am psychotic with some people and just fine with others. I figured out that when I am feeling very insecure, I act a damn fool.

I didn't act a damn fool with Juan because IDK. I always trusted him. No matter the situation I knew that he was loyal to me. Well, thats how I felt anyway. I mean I won't totally and absolutely know everything but I was pretty secure that he wasn't the cheating type or the type to fuck me over like I fucked him over.

Or another example - Jonathan I didn't even give a shit when he stopped talking to me cause well he was always friend zoned and we just "dated" cause I was bored and needed attention.

but on the other hand with Matthew since we were NEVER officially together I felt like he was going to leave me at any time. I didn't want him to go and as soon as I felt him slipping away I would go psycho. and thats also how it happened with Steven...by the end I was so insecure about him because he seemed so distant.

So...I guess when I turn psycho it means that I am insecure even though I dont really notice it until I am over and done with the situation.