Nahhh...no!

I was just on the phone with Esteban...



A couple of weeks ago Esteban showed interest in dating me. I've been in that Juan-mode for a while so I kindly rejected him saying that, "It was too soon (2 months) since he broke up with that girl, and that I was too into Juan still. That ultimately, it wouldn't be fair to him or me." That was a half truth I guess. I honestly have no feelings for him. Don't get me wrong I LOVE him. Esteban is so sweet, so funny, SOOOOO patient. Actually, I think he is the most patient person that I know, and very mellow. He has the right mix to make any girl goo goo gaga - which he did for a long time.

He kind of avoided me for two weeks after that, with reason.

I don't understand myself. I KNOW that he's a good guy. I KNOW that he could possibly make me happy. He's like the PRIME example of a great guy. He's college educated, family oriented, hard working, loyal, sentimental and understanding, but still ALL man lol. I could go on and on about what's good about him. Even with all those qualities, I don't have much of an interest in being involved with him. A tiny, tiny, minuscule of me wants to go back in time to change it all. So, that I could have feelings for him all over again. So that I wouldnt obsess over Juan, and so that everything would be alright.



I was just on the phone with Esteban, and he said something really cute...and I began to flirt with him. I feel weird.