So I've been thinking that i'm a complete dumbass. I love Aaron, but i've been SO full of shit to admit it. Too much pride in me to admit it. Now he's leaving...and he's leaving me. I'm pissed at myself but I wont fix it cause i'm stubborn like that. Its for THE BEST I know it, but it hurts. I wish he would call again...
Me and John are slowly getting back at it...I should be happy right? I am content. I'm not complaining. He's a hard-working, hot 1/2 Salvadorian, 1/2 Rican guy that has realistic goals in front of himself...yeah...exactly what I wanted, right?
I had a dream with Amber, Marisol and Nataly. We were at BCW and it was exactly like BCW, but it was dark and it looked like if there was a club-party going on. They were all with their pregnant bellies, and I was pregnant too.We were sitting on the bar stools. Then Peter woke me up. I miss them...and I long to get to know their children and be in their lives...be aunt Cindy. I dunno. I just feel a LOT of guilt. It hurts me so much.
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