Insignificant 6/12

I don’t know what to do or what to say but I feel awful physically and mentally. I want to cry. No not cry I want to sob. I feel awful even though I had a pretty cool day. I don’t feel good. I feel really lonely. I no longer feel special. I just feel like an insignificant person without a fucking purpose here. Nobody cares for me the way I want them to care. I want to feel loved. GOD!!! WHY IS THAT SOOOOO HARD FOR ME TO GET?? All I've wanted for years now id to be happy with somebody that will love me no matter what. There's no longer anyone there to ask me how my day was or to tell me things that don’t really matter but are extremely interesting, somebody there to make me smile and laugh until I turn blue. And then I can say "I have a pain of my chess and I cannot brief" hahaha yeah…not going to happen huh? I want to be complete. Right now I feel as if I were cut in half…nah like Aaron tore a big chunk of my heart and fed it to the coyotes. As for Esteban…he's just still there and doesn't want to leave the presidential suite.