Pastor Joel...was talking about not taking things for granted. All this time we've taken my dad's job for granted. He's about to loose it...how are we going to do things? I'm scared...my mom asked me not to tell my grandma but it seems like I'm telling everybody else. But I havent told Taure...hummm...wonder why? I guess we didnt get a chance to.
lol...look at what he IMed me before he left, "[04:04] sumthingepic: I love you, even though you reject me and dont feel the same goodnight because im signing off getting the last word...love you again, hopefully one day we can get on that next level...night..."
I dunno what to make of it.
German is still on me...trying to meet up with me somwhere...I think he's just trying to get there. I told him i might not have sex anymore until I'm married and he was like, "NOO!!! Not until we have at it!" that fucker...i KNOW he only wants to use me I'm not a retard...bragging to our friends that i'm a closet freak. ugh. I got so mad. Talking about my talents and what not.
I was sooooo embarrased
Monday, June 19, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Suspicious By nature
Of course...I have no idea what the hell he REALLY has up his damn sleeve.
I'm talking about German...he called on Sunday to apologize...and I appreciated that very much, but now he keeps on calling...telling me that he ended things with some girl and blah blah. Does he really think that I'm going to fall for his bull shit again? I mean dang...I liked him...thats why I fell for his shit, but now I see things in another lite...the lite of TRUTH! hahahaha
Yeah that sounded corny but I dont give a damn. I'm on to him...but i'll let him believe that I am alright...he keeps on saying that i am not over him...well he mentioned it once and I automatically got on the defensive. cause dammit I AM over him...if he likes it or not.
It is really annoying that he's like trying to attack Taure...to make him look bad in front of me. I am not even interested in taure that way...you get me? Me and Taure are just great friends. I love Taure! He's awesome! He was like Taure said that he was sure he could get you and blah blah. bull shit!!!! finish this later
I'm talking about German...he called on Sunday to apologize...and I appreciated that very much, but now he keeps on calling...telling me that he ended things with some girl and blah blah. Does he really think that I'm going to fall for his bull shit again? I mean dang...I liked him...thats why I fell for his shit, but now I see things in another lite...the lite of TRUTH! hahahaha
Yeah that sounded corny but I dont give a damn. I'm on to him...but i'll let him believe that I am alright...he keeps on saying that i am not over him...well he mentioned it once and I automatically got on the defensive. cause dammit I AM over him...if he likes it or not.
It is really annoying that he's like trying to attack Taure...to make him look bad in front of me. I am not even interested in taure that way...you get me? Me and Taure are just great friends. I love Taure! He's awesome! He was like Taure said that he was sure he could get you and blah blah. bull shit!!!! finish this later
Tuesday, June 6, 2006
We have Changed
Esteban,
I can't believe I told you that I still liked you...lol I would have felt bad if i would have told you that i was REALLY in love with you. You probably would have freaked out on me. I was drunk...well that was back in january. You said that you werent the same guy. And you're right. I'm not the same girl either. You still see me as the same girl...but with a slight more alcohol in my system.
Oh...how much did I dream of this moment. When me and you both were single...ahhh but ur loving that single life obviously. I dont blame you for it. the girls after me weren't so great to you. I miss you so much and I wished that me and you were together again. I want to be able to feel you close to me. I dont know what the fuck I'm saying anymore.
It strikes me as odd that i cant just pick up my cell phone and dial you. After my trip...I couldnt, I would put off calling you to wish you a belated birthday. its like there isnt that level of comfort anymore. i feel awkward or rejected somehow. You call me...a minute later you let me go. Then why even call me? i dont understand. I was sooo glad when you called me last night...but once again the convo was a minute...literally. What the fuck! What is it that you want? Why do you call me? Ahhh!!!
I'm upset...you're making me feel like an idiot...
I can't believe I told you that I still liked you...lol I would have felt bad if i would have told you that i was REALLY in love with you. You probably would have freaked out on me. I was drunk...well that was back in january. You said that you werent the same guy. And you're right. I'm not the same girl either. You still see me as the same girl...but with a slight more alcohol in my system.
Oh...how much did I dream of this moment. When me and you both were single...ahhh but ur loving that single life obviously. I dont blame you for it. the girls after me weren't so great to you. I miss you so much and I wished that me and you were together again. I want to be able to feel you close to me. I dont know what the fuck I'm saying anymore.
It strikes me as odd that i cant just pick up my cell phone and dial you. After my trip...I couldnt, I would put off calling you to wish you a belated birthday. its like there isnt that level of comfort anymore. i feel awkward or rejected somehow. You call me...a minute later you let me go. Then why even call me? i dont understand. I was sooo glad when you called me last night...but once again the convo was a minute...literally. What the fuck! What is it that you want? Why do you call me? Ahhh!!!
I'm upset...you're making me feel like an idiot...
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