Dbag switch

 While I was filming this video my brother had a talk with my parents about going to the early college high school. We had BEGGED him to go, but he didn't budge. Now its too late to apply. My mom let my dad know of that fact, ans they had a fight about it.

D: why aren't you ever supportive?!
M : Me not supportive? You should take a look at your own actions!
D: What is that supposed to mean?
M: Cindy told you she was graduating and you were an ass to her
D: Why are you bringing up other things into the conversation? It isn't relevant.

WTF? he's an idiot sometimes.

The Streets of Mumbai

Better late than never :)
I was in Mumbai on January 4th, 2011...I think this was actually the 5th or 6th not sure. Nonetheless here is some footage of that day. We decided to take a tour, but I didn't even capture anything from the looks of it. ugh I need to import some more foortage it seems!

Three Story house

I guess I've had other things on my mind that I completely forgot to even blog about this. I mean I could say that it wasn't important to me to even mention it, but that would be a lie since I remember telling myself the whole morning, "DON'T FORGET THIS DREAM! REPLAY IT REPLAY IT!"

I think it was last week. The whole dream isn't in my mind anymore, I just remember fragments of it. So, the dream was about Juan. The first house we lived in in Texas was a two story house. you could see the stars there because we lived next to open fields, and I think in that area, there is a lot of cattle. Next to the house there was a little space between the brick and the fence where there were banana leaves. The stupid things never actually made bananas, but nonetheless they were there.

So, in my dream I was sitting there, in that area between the fence and the neighbor's fence. It was dark and I was looking up at the stars. I looked down at myself and I was thin, and petite which will never happen since I am 5'7" I had a notebook with me, a pair of binoculars and headphones on. I could see my neighbor's house that was three stories (our actual neighbors were elderly, and had a one story house that was pink). The house was white, and every floor was a different room. I could see clearly into the rooms because They didnt have a back wall, they had a back window. The top floor had Juan's parents, the 2nd floor was Juans room, third floor was Juan's little brother and then there was a small house in the backyard that was his sisters.

I saw him in his room, but he looked different. He looked dorky, and unkept. He was wearing this heavy blue hoodie, and glasses. He was slightly overweight, and I didn't understand. In the dream, I was thinking to myself, "I have the wrong guy. Thats not him" I felt the feeling of ewww that can't be him...thats gross. I kept watching him, and he walked up to his parents bedroom. I kept staring at him with my binoculars, and said, "No, that is him" and I went through this mental process in my mind that his outer appearance would never change his personality. But I think I was still put off by it. I had made up my mind that I was just gonna go for it.

As I got up to go somewhere else...I think to his house, I saw a bright light flash. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them I saw him as I remember him from this picture he has (wearing this dark green shirt...idk) extending a hand to me to help me up. Then my alarm went off and I woke up.

I wish I knew what dreams meant...

Flirting Creep

FM(financial)L

Night Night

I had terrible sleep last night. I just couldn't fall asleep with that ridiculous head gear on. how could it ever be accurate if its so uncomfortable?!?!

I watch a lot of YouTube videos...that goes without saying! A lot of beauty videos in particular with a splash of Shane Dawson and Philip DeFranco, and the occasional WhatTheBuck. Anyway, there is this tag going around in the beauty community called the "Husband/Boyfriend tag." The chic usually asks her dude random questions about their relationship and about herself to see how much she knows about her. Blah Blah I recently subscribed to this chic that I do not remember her YT name...anyway, her husband had a strong resemblance to Juan...just like a thinner version. And then last week in San Antonio, I saw a waiter from far away that reminded me of him as well. I freaked so bad. When he finally came up close his name tag read David and he was pretty short. So, I felt pretty embarrassed. Even though I didn't raise any alarms to Shani or Sunita, but I think HE noticed.

Today, I watched the Fountain, and as I have mentioned before the Fountain CD was the one that played over and over when we broke up. I seriously think somebody took it and threw it away because I cannot find it anywhere. And of course, when i see the fountain I only see two scenes, and I'm done with it. I have seriously watched those two scenes a million times. However, I've only seen the whole movie twice.

So to wrap this up, I felt weird today. Sad? Yes. Crying? Not Really. I know that I will never escape the memory of him. That's just a fact. He's in my veins, and I will never be able to drain him out. I don't like thinking about him because then I make up stories in my mind as to what we would be like right now. Obviously, I paint all stories with him as the best stories ever. We would be the cookie cutter couple that loves each other, and it shows while making everybody else puke from the jealousy.

In the video I saw (partially! cause I'm not that emotionally involved with this YTer yet) that they looked into each other's eyes...all googley like (insert jealous gag here) and kissed. I wondered if anybody in my future will give me that kind of loving gaze. Some people take that for granted...I know I did.

Maybe I will learn to appreciate my next mate...who knows really. Cheers to being single for a year and 4 months? Ugh, whatever.

Sleep Apnea

 

Mr. Felix!

SA Bound on Friiiday

Get it Done

It's April 2nd