On Tuesday, my mom had a hysterectomy. The day started off fine. Her procedure took longer than expected because of "chocolate" as Dr. Simotas explained. Her masses were spread out to one of her ovaries, and it burst. The "chocolate" was actually dried/old blood. The doctor also explained that she had endometriosis - which means that I ALSO have it because its genetic. I looked it up, and I have all the symptoms of pre-endometriosis. I don't want to go into details...but it kinda makes me sad. I mean my mom never had the woman troubles that I had until 2 years ago, but I've had them since the beginning of my "womanhood." IDK, I don't want to end up old and childless because I won't be able to carry.
Anyway, once my mom got to her room, the doctor and the nurse explained that she was going to be tired. They asked us to give her space, and let her rest. All my aunts wanted to do was hover over her. Their phones kept going off and waking her up. I asked then to put them on silent several times. They finally did when my mom told them. I said, "The light is probably bothering her" They brushed me off, and my mom then said to turn off the lights. The doctor said that she shouldn't eat much cause she was going to throw up. I told grandma, and she got angry with me. My mom kept saying no, but grandma kept pushing it. She ended up throwing up. What a fucking surprise.
When we finally decided to get lunch. I said we should go out and get something. It was about 3, and the nurse said she would come to at around 8. One hour wasn't going to make a difference. They gave me a nasty look, and said, "We didn't come here to eat." They ended up with nasty and expensive cafeteria food that they didn't even eat. I had no idea that they had gotten bad food, and I said, "Man that steak was GREAT!" Again, I got a cutting remark as if I knew that they had shitty food.
The day before she left the hospital, there was a lot of people in the room. Her day nurse, Dawn was amazing, but the afternoon nurses were always different. That particular day, the night nurse never checked up on my mom. My mom then started yelling at ME specifically because I hadn't called the nurse in. How was I supposed to know when her pill was supposed to be given? Since she yelled at me, I asked her to use the button. She did, and then kept bitching at me. I HATE that she acts like she doesn't know how to speak English when she's FLUENT, VERY FLUENT. All the nurses, and the doctor herself told her that her English was PERFECT. It annoys the hell out of me how she cuts herself down a notch and expects me to pull her slack.
The nurse came in and said she hadn't gotten briefed by Dawn yet. 15 minutes later She yelled at me again, and again I told her to use the button. She got her nurses' attention the first time, why wouldn't it work the second time? Well that time the nurse didn't come in. And yes, I admit that I was being a pain, but it pissed me off how there were 8 people in that fucking room, and I was the only one getting bitched at. Did anybody else get up and ask? NO. That time everybody talked shit to me and only me. Really? I wasn't the only one with a mouth there.
So immediately after that, I LEFT. I wasn't going to stand there and let them speak to me that way. The damn nurse was with another patient. It wasn't even my fault, but of course they made it my fault.
The next morning I got up put a robe on and dropped off my bro and my grandma. I came back home to nap, and an hour later my mom called me to pick her up. I said, "I'm gonna call you as soon as I'm 15 minutes away" Then again she bitched at me and yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!? YOU HAVE TO COME UP HERE!!" I said fine, ok. and took it. Once I got to the hospital she called again to tell me nevermind, it wasn't as many things as she though she had.
Once we got home, my grandma started arguing with me as to what Endometriosis was when I was the one who heard the ENGLISH speaking doctor talk about it, and later looked it up. She was yelling at me telling me she was right. By this time I was fucking pissed. I had about had it with all of them. So, I didn't back down, and instead pulled up a Spanish website that explained it. She shut right up.
I picked up my brother and expressed my anger. He then told me that before I woke up that morning, She was telling him, "You should NEVER be like your sister!" And all this bullshit. My brother knows me best out of EVERYONE in my family. I spend the most time with him, and he knows me so well. I am the nicest to him out of everyone because he's my little brother. He's the only one I have and I love him very much. My brother and I are very different. So, he will NEVER be like me. He has a softer demeanor and will rather not make a person feel bad than win an argument. I, on the other hand, will NOT give up on what I believe in. I will express my opinion when I see it fit. That was just the last fucking straw. I'm so sick of people telling my brother bad things about me. I don't have a damn filter. I ADMIT it. I am not as nice, nor am I people pleasing as they would like me to be. I also admit that. I'm not the greatest example, the greatest role model, but I wasn't planning on being one.
Then today...my aunt dropped off my two cousins. I was planning on going grocery store shopping, but they arrived. Then my uncle called and asked if it was ok to stop by. I wanted to hear the conversation...which I didn't but still lol. They haven't spoken to each other in years. So, again I postponed my grocery run. My uncles wife then decided to give one of my cousins milk. She didn't ask for milk and we didn't even have milk. My mom then started yelling at me again, saying that Valerie was hungry. Then I heard her on the phone saying, "THIS one hasn't gone to get the groceries, of course" In that derogatory tone that she always uses.
I got up and took em to get food because I had to do Karen's makeup and hair. We brought the food back, and Valerie wasn't even hungry. Karen begged her to eat, but she was like NO. Then she went crying to my mom to turn on the TV for her (netflix actually with the backyardigans). She yelled at me again, and I said, "She needs to eat something before she can watch TV" She responded with, "Who do you think you are? Do you think you're with the kids from work?" and I said, "All kids are the same mom. You can't just reinforce her behavior. That's why she always pulls it cause she knows she can get away with it" Its true. I've explained this concept to my brother, and he has picked up on it. I'm very proud. He also picks up on makeup application. lol. Idk if I should be proud of that one. I just hope his gf knows how to properly apply makeup. Anyway, she told that I had no idea how to raise children...blah blah. Later, Valerie started crying again. Karen told her to eat and she didn't. Then I used my mommy voice, and told her to grab the other chair and eat. She did as I asked without a peep. If it would have been anybody else, Valerie would have kept on crying. Karen said that whenever she cries they just automatically give in. Heeeelll to the nah. Thats exactly why she does that.
I don't read minds. My mom didn't tell me she was hungry. There wasn't any milk but there was plenty of chicken, and lettuce in the house. But when my aunt and grandma came in the house, again she said, "THIS ONE hasn't gotten the groceries!" with her fucking tone. She eats chicken and lettuce on a DAILY basis. Again I got dirty looks.
I'm tired of it. It has definitely taken a toll on me. I do have a rock hard exterior, but that doesn't mean I'm ok with people shitting all over me just for trying to give my mom space and rest, or trying to feed my aunts good food, or because some nurse hadn't made her rounds, or not reading minds. My grandma trying to manipulate all my damn decisions for the week to favor her were not pleasing either.
These are the times when I wish I lived far away, and I was just the daughter who had responsibilities. They liked me a lot better when I didn't live here.
