Germaphobe

What's behind door number 3?

I'm a complicated individual

Waste

I have a few blogs filmed, just haven't uploaded.

I sometimes think too hard, and start feeling shitty about myself all over again. I am a perfectly fine individual with a lot of potential, but sometimes I just CANNOT see that in myself. I refuse to accept the good in me because all the bad things seem to overshadow them.

I'm afraid! I'm afraid that a lot of things will not turn out like I want them to because by nature...I just fuck everything up. Now, at this point in time, I've fucked up so much that I have nothing to FUCK UP. I have nothing going for me and I feel like I'm just going to waste.

just...upset.

that is all.

DWI

my choppy video for my half ass return to vlogging.

Engagements, marriage, and getting knocked up

Mayra tweeted that everyone is either getting engaged married or knocked and that she felt left out

lets reverse to 2004-2007...i was with Aaron, and i honestly thought he was the love of my life. I honestly thought that he loved me the right way. When in actuality, he was douchebag asshat who would manipulate me in any way possibly for his personal gain. After graduation, right before he went to bootcamp, he asked me to marry him, and i said no mainly because im a girl and i want a big wedding.

We kept talking about it for the next couple of years (eventhough he was already married). I would fantasize about how life would be...and if i think about it today it wouldnt be a fantasy it would be a downright nightmare.

So, marriage looks like a far off ffffaaaaarrr off. I dont even think theres even a match for me at this point. I cant imagine getting along with anybody on that level. Its been 9 months and I dont remember what its like to care for somebody. Im too awkward...too weird...too fat? lol the only one i want is who knows where and is definitely not missing me.

I dont even wanna even be knocked up. Its so difficult to have a child, to put your needs aside for theirs. Life is essentially over if you want to be a RESPONSIBLE parent, unlike other people i know who think the party should keep on going.

So NO i dont feel left out.

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Erase you

If i could just erase people from my memory...life would be a lot smoother lol. Cause running away doesn't exactly work.

in other news, I emailed my prof, and he said that somebody found my phone, and they turned it in to the guard. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the guard isn't fucked up, and still has it lol.

Bye Cell Phone

The worst thing about losing your cellphone is that somebody can just look at all your shit...privacy gone! They could probably go through my Facebook account, my twitter, this blog, and whatever else is affiliated with me! Then there are those pictures of Juan...if you swipe 3 times to the left. How embarrassing???

At least I didn't have naughty pictures lol. All of my pictures were PG. I had recently renewed my contract, sooooooo I can't leave T-mobile for ATT like I was planning to. 

I lost it 12 hours ago, and according to Google latitude 10 hrs ago...it was still on campus. I should have asked professor Gupta if he had found a cell phone, but I didn't! gahhh I'm an idiot.

I've lost SOOOO many phones by accidentally leaving them around. ugh.

'Twas a French Friday

Melange Creperie

corner of Taft and Westheimer in front of Mangos

I continued with the Food and Coffee-re-exploring-Houston-tour.

If this place were not at a stop light you would pass this gem up. I was greeted with a smile by Sean, the lovely man who owns this creperie. He was very charming and talkative. It was NICE. I live when people interact, and try to make you feel good about visiting your venue. Top of the line customer service, along with an amazing crepe.

Mayra had the Strawberries and vanilla bean whipped cream. He added a bit more after Mayra had taken a few bites.

Shani had the egg, cheese, and ham. Pretty basic...I wouldn't have ordered it, but she enjoyed it.

As you can see in this picture here.

I had the banana and Nutella. DUHHH this was gonna be a winner! It has nutella! Delicious, amazing, fantastic, and everything else good!

I WISH there was one right outside my house cause I could possibly eat one every other hour. Who am I kidding...every 30 minutes lol.

Later, I went with my aunt to La Madeleine. I had my usual Cesar salad, potato salad and half a sandwich.

Its ok to be itty bitty

The Itty Bitty Burger Barn
5503 PINEMONT DRIVE
HOUSTON, TX 77092

This was my first stop on my Food and Coffee-re-exploring-Houston-tour since it was the closest to my house - 10 minutes. They had a large array of burger choices with a big sign with dudes handwriting, and funny little pictures. I opted for the Western Burger (burger topped with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onion, bbq sauce, and an onion ring) since Rob got the Black Blue Burger with Blue Cheese, and I refused to copy!

His was absolutely delicious. There he is eating my leftover tots - which were fucking good - with Jalapeno ketchup. He said it wasn't spicy it was just the jalapeno aroma. Well, I didn't get my food at the same time Mayra and Rob did cause well...the poor teenage waiter/cashier dropped it on the floor. He looked so embarrassed. I felt bad for him, and the cook gave him the STANK eye. Awww poor baby :(

I didn't really care that he had dropped it on the floor it was whatever, but he offered a free milkshake. I didn't really wanna take it, but whatever...Mayra was like "OK!" We tasted it and it had a distinct taste. I tried to figure it out for a second, but then gave up. lol Rob then said it tasted like Quick and yup! that was the taste.

Mayra had a steak sandwich which was good too, all in all I liked it. I would absolutely go there again.

Its PAST my bed time

I'm usually not up at this time when I have school the next day, but I have like this overwhelming guilt.

I was watching today's PDS and it reminded me that during 2007-2008 I lied a CRAP LOAD. It was a lie to cover up another lie to cover up another. By the end I was so inundated with lies that I could not keep track of them all. The consequences were much larger than I expected. It was a little game I played which got too many other people involved...all for the sake of getting back at Aaron. Aaron the insignificant soul-less bastard who I pay no mind to anymore.

I have grown up since then. All that crap, and people finding out does slap you back into reality. If I had to go back in time, I MOST likely would have done it again, but would have only involved two people. Aaron - naturally to just fuck him over again and again cause I'm genuinely evil like that and another just because I am selfish.

I feel like that year haunts me. As if it defined me as a whole because I made the most mistakes that year. I know that I shouldn't let that happen but it does! Now, I was definitely NOT the victim of that story, but I did fuck my OWN self over that year. I was ridiculous, and sloppy. Sometimes paranoia sets in and I feel like the people involved will tell everyone about it. I don't doubt they haven't told people about it...idk.

Going back to the growing up part - I've realized a lot of things about myself.

1. I can be a very fucked up human being, and I need to check myself, as well as my ethics, from time to time.
2. I do appreciate and love myself - flaws and all, and people should know that
3. Technology is DANGEROUS.
4. I don't need to be a vindictive bitch when people screw me over. A good "FUCK YOU!" should suffice. 
5. I make really crappy/short lists