That I feel like I should have somebody, but I don't. I don't have anybody. If I go to the hospital today, I won't have a boyfriend come to my aid. I've been single for such a long time that I don't know what its like anymore.
Last night, Esteban told me he likes me...which should make me happy but it doesn't. Sure, it boosts my self esteem, but I can't do much with that info. Jonathan keeps trying to be my boyfriend, but I don't care about him. I dangle him around just because I can. I'm a bitch and I know this. Maybe that's why I'm alone. Karma is getting me.
With all this tak about abortion...and how drastically I have changed my views on it...its got me thinking.
That one I don't want a child but that two I want a significant other. I'm 24 going on 25. My best friend is married and I'm not. There are so many people on my FB that have changed their last name just this year its crazy.
I want to experience life with somebody else. It just makes me miss Juan more. We were just talking about the perfect relationship...ugh. I'm a broken record I know.
I'm doing the same thing I did with Esteban...obsess. Not healthy. I have nothing going for me so what else can I do?
Ugh...the day I feel like crying Monica came to sleep on my bed...
