I was talking to John last night...yeah I guess you can say i can get over things easily when it comes to him. It seems as if I cling to him for dear life, as if he were the only person who can keep me sane, keep me from going bananas. I need to cut myself loose and let myself fall...but it seems impossible for the moment. He brings a smile to my face everytime he speaks to me. Sometimes he steps out of his way to make me feel better when its not even his place...he's not my man and probably never will be. I understand the logic by which guys are little players and what not. I'm no longer naive to think that everybodyis like me, in search for that special someone.
I miss Aaron...our stupid dysfunctional relationship kept me together...now thats not around anymore and I'm confused on what to do...should I wait a bit longer? should I look to somebody new?
Esteban...gosh I still think about him everyday. I wonder what he is doing, how he is doing, who the girl is that is now enjoying the light he brings...The happiness that experienced with him will forever follow me even when I am erased from his memory. The excitement that I had when i was just getting to know him still exists in me...but i have accepted that i am no longer somebody he looks towards to for anything...just a mere chat. I need to let go...somehow
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